Anywhere But Here

The weather has cooled to the perfect temperature and I can finally relax. My mind has quieted. So much, that I’ve already begun to plan my year long hiatus from society and the traditional nine to five. I’ve come to realize that public service and working for others is a lot like running full speed into a brick wall with a padded suit and helmet. I constantly ask myself (while running into this metaphorical brick wall)- am I prepared to work this job and live in DC for another 3 years? Can I handle the inefficient system, the bureaucracy, the office personalities and the rising cost of housing- not to mention the difficulties of searching for my life’s purpose in a soulless city?

Okay I know that’s harsh and that I probably sound like a stubborn, impatient millennial that just needs to deal with it. But for reals, I don’t know how you all do it every day and keep a straight face! Some of you all even seem to be enjoying yourselves-totally oblivious to the heavy suit of armor that now adorns your heart. Do you feel safe in that shiny suit of metal armor? I feel like taking a risk-getting out there to do something amazing with my life, is way better than living life in shackles disguised as a shiny suit- one that you have to pay off with interest, might I add.

One thing’s for sure-I’m starting to check out. The honey moon period with my job is over and I feel unfocused, unprepared and  unmotivated. My patience with people is growing thin and I’m withdrawing. On the other hand, Fall is finally here and every thought feels crisp and clear. Living in my car has become a breeze, having mastered the bathroom routine and landed a second job. Yet still, I can’t help but think about what it would be like to work for myself or have some low key telework position that allowed me to get away from it all. If only I didn’t have this job tying me down, I would be any where but here. Exploring the deliciousness of life, traveling or homesteading and spending a lot of time doing nothing in particular at all.

Just when you think you’ve hit rock bottom, you discover that what you’ve really hit is a treasure chest. And with a little muscle, sweat equity and a plan, it’s more than possible to unlock it’s mysteries. This is what I keep telling myself, that this is part of what I’m doing with my life-typing in the dark lot of a library, trying to figure out how I can stop fighting the things I like least about society and discover for myself what life is like on the other side.

 

 

Author: Tmblingweed

Minimalist. Environmentalist. Cosmologist. Truth Seeker. Lived in my car for a year to pay off my student loans, visit sacred Mayan sites in the Caribbean and overcome OCD.

3 thoughts on “Anywhere But Here”

  1. So hoping that you will find some enjoyment and challenge in your job for the time you are there.  You deserve to be fully engaged and have your talents utilized to make amazing things happen!   I love you! Mom

    From: Tumbling Weed To: tonigoggans@yahoo.com Sent: Tuesday, September 27, 2016 7:15 PM Subject: [New post] Anywhere But Here #yiv5105734123 a:hover {color:red;}#yiv5105734123 a {text-decoration:none;color:#0088cc;}#yiv5105734123 a.yiv5105734123primaryactionlink:link, #yiv5105734123 a.yiv5105734123primaryactionlink:visited {background-color:#2585B2;color:#fff;}#yiv5105734123 a.yiv5105734123primaryactionlink:hover, #yiv5105734123 a.yiv5105734123primaryactionlink:active {background-color:#11729E;color:#fff;}#yiv5105734123 WordPress.com | Tmblingweed posted: “The weather has cooled to the perfect temperature and I can finally relax. My mind has quieted. So much, that I’ve already begun to plan my year long hiatus from society and a traditional nine to five. I’ve come to realize that public service and working ” | |

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  2. Your blog posts allow me to “check in” as I continue to pray for you and your journey. You are a very strong, beautiful woman, and I absolutely admire how in-tune you are with self. Love you Alexis

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  3. I use this sometimes when I’m going through the motions. It helps, sometimes…

    “The struggle you’re in today is developing the strength you need for tomorrow.” – Robert Tew.

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